You all have played an integral role in allowing me to be here and I want to include you on this journey in a more personal manner than I have in the past. You have given me a rare and beautiful gift: space and time to discover what it means to be attentive and listen with my heart.
The past six weeks (called the “listening posture”) have been a time of recognizing and learning to accept who God has created me to be; even in the ordinary: what I like and dislike, my fears and dreams, my strengths and weaknesses, my needs and interests, my natural inclinations, etc. I have done an incredible job of even deceiving myself about who I am. I believe that accepting my identity in Christ must happen in order for me to identify what I am meant to do and what God desires for my life.
Through this time of self-discovery, I am experiencing something new and exciting: freedom. When I remember that God fashioned me in His image, and I recognize myself as His daughter, whom He loves, I am free. God knows my innermost thoughts, and He created me to experience countless different emotions, each in a particular manner. Rather than negating the value of these, I am beginning to embrace them. The sense of guilt that often follows when I think or feel a certain way disappears when I acknowledge and include God in those thoughts and feelings. If He is welcomed into our mind and heart, we are free of condemnation. This is revolutionizing my life.
On a slightly different note, we are now entering into the “submerging posture”. This entails learning what it means to be more committed and submitted to one another, more connected with and actively serving our neighbors, and grasping the power of the incarnation. We will be focusing on the gospels in the Bible and reading some other texts as well. I will spend more time with a select few ministries in order to decide where to commit for the remainder of the year. Some include work with young girls who have experienced varying degrees of abuse, and working with an economically poor community to start a vegetable garden. The nutrients that vegetables provide are absolutely essential in the treatment of AIDS, which is rampant throughout Africa. The garden would allow for more people to have access to the essential nutrients their bodies need to stay alive.
With that, please pray that I would sense God’s leading in where I can best serve. There is also something of which I need prayer that I rarely reveal to people: I long to sense something that is undeniably from God. I constantly struggle with doubt and skepticism in this area. Although I am learning, I am easily bogged down with frustration for not being able to experience more of God in a personal way.
If you are interested in more detailed, weekly/daily updates and occasional photos, feel free to visit my blog: http://www.xanga.com/nom_AD_ic
Thank you for taking the time to read my updates. I don’t say it often enough but you all mean the world to me. And, if ever you are willing, I would love to know how you are doing as well.